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Is Your Spouse Cheating? Tech Clues that Give Them Away

by on November 15, 2012
in Family and Parenting, Computers and Software, Phones and Mobile, Home Safety & Security, Tips & How-Tos :: 6 comments

Man with lipstick on collarThree years ago, it was Tiger Woods who was undone by technology after being caught cheating through salacious text messages and voicemails he sent to his alleged mistresses. Now the head of the CIA, retired General David Petraeus, and his biographer Paula Broadwell are in the spotlight after their affair was uncovered by the FBI.

To cover their tracks, Petraeus and Broadwell allegedly created a secret email account that both could access. To communicate, one would create a draft message and then the other would log in and comment in the draft. The draft emails were never sent, so there wasn't any evidence in their regular email accounts. However, the FBI was easily able to track the secret account back to Paula Broadwell, along with the incriminating messages, during its investigation of harassing emails she supposedly sent to another female friend of Petraeus.

Of course if you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, it's unlikely you'll have the FBI helping uncover the truth. But, as with Woods and Petraeus, there are many tech clues cheaters leave behind on their cell phones, computers and other electronic gadgets that you can look for on your own.

A word of caution

Before engaging in any electronic snooping, be aware that there are strong federal and state electronic-eavesdropping and hacking laws in place to protect our privacy. It would be wise to consult with an attorney to ensure you don't engage in any activities that are in violation of the law—if you end up in a nasty divorce, being charged with spying crimes is not a good position to be in.

Tech clues to a cheating spouse

1. Calls on your spouse's cell phone

Are there numerous calls to numbers you don’t recognize, especially at odd hours of the day or night? You can often determine who owns a particular landline number simply by entering the number into Google search.

2. Cell phone address book names you don’t recognize

Chances are your spouse won’t take the risk of entering the full name of the person he or she is cheating with, so look for numbers that are identified merely with initials or a first name.

3. Incriminating text messages and emails

Text messages and emails are the modern means of sending love letters, and your spouse may have kept them on his or her phone for ongoing enjoyment. And be sure to check the "deleted items" or "trash" folder. People frequently let their discarded emails linger for weeks before they're permanently erased.

4. Voicemail messages

Perhaps your spouse chose to save a couple of the steamy ones for later playback.

5. A second cell phone or SIM card

If your spouse is clever, he or she will be using a second cell phone—or just a second SIM card—-for communicating with his or her lover. However, people slip up occasionally. If your spouse calls you from a cell phone number you don’t recognize, that may be cause for suspicion. Try calling the other number when your spouse is home and see how they react. If you happen to find an extra SIM card, stick it in a phone and see what phone numbers are stored on it.

6. Hidden messages apps

There are apps available, such as NQ Mobile Vault, that let you store text messages, phone contacts, photos and more in a password-protected, encrypted folder on your smartphone, If you find one of these apps and there's no obvious reason why your spouse would need it, that may be cause for suspicion. And if your spouse chose an app with poor security, accessing the contents can be quite easy.

7. Computer's browsing history

If your spouse is supposed to be on a business trip to Seattle but browsing hotels in New York, this is where the browser history can help you out. Also, the browser history may reveal whether they're visiting email sites (e.g., Gmail, Hotmail) where you didn't know they had an account.

8. Frequent-flier account

Did your spouse purchase an extra ticket with miles or are there frequent-flier miles for a trip to New York when they were supposed to be in Seattle? You may be able to log in to your spouse's account online if their login info is stored in the browser or password bank, otherwise check their email for their monthly statement.

9. Toll pass history

If you use E-ZPass or another toll payment system in your cars, check the online statement. Is there unusual activity showing your spouse driving on the New Jersey Turnpike when they’re supposed to be at work in Westchester?

10. Previous destinations in your spouse’s navigation system

Practically every nav system—built-in, portable and on your phone—has a list of previous destinations. If the No-Tell Motel off the Jersey Turnpike is on there and your spouse doesn’t work in the hospitality business, that’s a sign something may be up.

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Discussion loading

Paula not Paul.

From Darlene Cunningham on November 16, 2012 :: 11:14 am

The name is Paula not Paul. There is a big difference.

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Agreed! I've fixed. That's for

From Suzanne Kantra on November 16, 2012 :: 11:23 am

Agreed! I’ve fixed. Thanks for pointing it out!

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i checked and found out many things

From maria on November 16, 2012 :: 11:28 am

hi,
i did it.
looked and found the text messages and the marriage is now over and done with.
its been three years. it was awful and am so glad i found out. kept it secret until after i was out of the house. then i told what i knew.

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Low Battery

From Carol on November 16, 2012 :: 5:20 pm

I heard of a guy who had his mistress identified on his phones, even the land line, as Low Battery! Thought that was pretty ingenious.

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title: them should be him

From Wendy on December 16, 2012 :: 7:32 am

Just the one spous at the time.

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So many ways a cheater can keep it under wraps

From Kim on November 24, 2014 :: 6:52 am

Good article. It is always a sad thing to find yourself in such a spot as the investigator with your own partner. Let me say this though first. If you suddenly get that uneasy gut feeling, trust it. Don’t go and ask your partner. Investigate first because cheaters always lie. Then they cover up better knowing you were on to them. Act like you know nothing and start digging for evidence THATS bullet proof.

Yes it’s true cheaters may put lovers under names like j. Peters. Even john peters and it’s really a woman’s nimber. Or Barbara Kline and its a male lovers name. But the other thing cheaters do is put lovers under names of people the call often, such as their mother. There’s always space for multiple numbers in our contact list. So check your partners call logs and go further by checking what they have for numbers for their mom. See a number you don’t reconise? And you just thought your partner was really working on that brotherly bond he claims needed mending.  Yep, that’s a good way to fool you!  If their call log is deleted, messages deleted then that’s super suspicious. I never delete my messages. I hang on to messages in case I need to refer back to them
There’s also those calls that use throw away phone numbers. So lover will call from a differnt number all together next week. If you call back a number and it’s not in service its a pretty good chance that’s what kind of number it was. Also people get 800 numbers to communicate with the lover.  There’s also snap chat which is for sharing naughty pictures with a lover and not worry it will still be in your phone when your wife or husband uses the phone.the picture dissolved itself so you Didnt have to think about all that work. Well, as I always say there’s nothing 100% safe and there’s always a trail somewhere.  Snap chat now has an app that captures those naughty pics and stores them on the phone of the receiver. Sounds like trouble to me. There’s a hundreds of ways to sneak around that’s for sure. Cheaters are very tired people!

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