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10 Tech Clues to Uncovering a Cheating Spouse

by on December 10, 2009
in Family and Parenting, Home Safety & Security, Tips & How-Tos :: 55 comments

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Relationship problems

See our updated story: Is Your Spouse Cheating? Tech Clues that Give Them Away

You can’t turn on the news or open a newspaper without seeing a story about Tiger Woods’s family issues—along with salacious text messages and voicemails that he supposedly sent to his alleged mistresses. And Tiger is not alone. There have been many high-profile divorce cases and scandals that came to light through damning evidence generated by or stored on personal tech devices.

Of course, infidelity is not limited to celebrities, sports stars and politicians. According to a report in the New York Times in 2008, the General Social Survey conducted by the University of Chicago shows that 10 percent of spouses—12 percent of men and 7 percent of women—admit to having cheated just within the past year.

Anyone dubious of their spouse's faithfulness should be aware that the technology gadgets they use every day may harbor information on what they’ve been up to. Before crawling through their personal information, we advise consulting an attorney to ensure any electronic-eavesdropping or hacking laws aren't violated—if things get ugly, you don’t want that hanging over your head. And, of course, be prepared to deal with the fallout should your spouse catch you snooping. It goes without saying that following these tips demonstrates a breach of trust between married partners, something that should not be undertaken lightly.

The 10 tech clues to infidelity:

1. Look at the incoming and outgoing calls on your spouse's cell phone.

Are there numerous calls to numbers you don’t recognize, especially at odd hours of the day or night? You can often deterine who owns a particular landline number simply by entering the number into Google search.

2. Check your spouse's cell phone's address book for names you don’t recognize.

Chances are your spouse won’t take the risk of entering the full name of the person he or she is cheating with, so look for numbers that are identified merely with initials or a first name.

3. Check the text messages and email on your spouse's cell phone.

Text messages and emails are the modern means of sending love letters, and your spouse may have kept them on their phone for ongoing enjoyment.

4. Check your spouse's voicemail messages.

Perhaps your spouse chose to save a couple of the steamy ones for later playback.

5. Look for a second cell phone or SIM card.

If your spouse is clever, he or she will be using a second cell phone—or just a second SIM card—-for communicating with their lover. Your spouse may also have been smart enough to purchase a pre-paid phone or SIM, so nothing will appear on your credit-card bills. However, people slip up occasionally. If your spouse calls you from a cell phone number you don’t recognize, that may be cause for suspicion. Try calling the other number when your spouse is home and see how they react. If you happen to find an extra SIM card, stick it in a phone and see what phone numbers are stored on it.

6. Check your spouse’s computer for any incriminating email messages.

Be sure to check the "deleted items" or "trash" folder. People frequently let their discarded emails linger for weeks before they're permanently erased. It’s also possible that your spouse may have a special email address you don’t know about for “private” communications.

7. Check your spouse's computer's browser history.

Is your spouse planning a business trip to Cleveland while browsing hotels in Las Vegas? This is where the browser history can help you out.

Also, the browser history may reveal whether they're visiting email sites (e.g., Gmail, Hotmail) where you might not have known they had an account. Did you get an email from them using the “wrong” email account? If you don’t know your spouse’s login info, most browsers give you the option of storing usernames and passwords, and it’s possible their information was saved.

8. Go online to check your spouse’s frequent- flier account.

Did they purchase an extra ticket with miles? Or are there frequent-flier miles for a trip to Las Vegas when they were supposed to be in Cleveland? It’s amazing that people are dumb enough to try to get miles when they are supposed to be covering their tracks—but they are. You may be able to log in to your spouse's account online if their login info is stored in the browser or password bank, otherwise check their email for their monthly statement.

9. Go online to check your spouse's toll pass history.

If you use E-ZPass or another toll payment system in your cars, check the online statement. Is there unusual activity showing your spouse driving on the New Jersey Turnpike when they’re supposed to be at work in Westchester?

10. Check the previous destinations in your spouse’s navigation system.

Practically every automotive nav system, both built-in and portable, has a list of previous destinations. If the No-Tell Motel is on there and your spouse doesn’t work in the hospitality business, that’s a sign something may be up.

Discussion loading

2 wrongs don't make it right.

From Brokenhearted on August 31, 2014 :: 12:17 am

I cheated 4 years ago and my husband stayed.i thought if he stayed it was because he truly loved me and he forgave me and in time trust me .here we are 4 year.i wish that we would just part ways.hes the one that has been cheating on me for yrs before I got so bad I swallowed pills last year. Now that I did that he is using that to put me in a mental hospital.hes crazy he hacked my cell my fb my twitter email and he records everywhere I go.i called the cops I thought someone really did hack but the cops come he tells them I’m hearing things and I have a chemical in balance .to make me sound over 3 wks now I found out he is sleeping with his hoe bag boss and my have fathered her gets worst he put up sec adult sites and gave out our address so strange drive by and his hoe bag boss is now stalking me and my kids on her day off.i texted her asked her to call she never did then I texted her flat out asked r u sleeping with my man she calls HR tells them I harassed her.really OK so u r that’s y u called now I can’t call my own husband at work anymore.he denies cheating and hacking my phone oh yah he got a apartment and is lying about it I made a mistake but he started a whole new life and plans to leave but not before he has me medically placed.18 yrs.y is he doing this to scared and no one will help me..


Totally Agree!!

From Cheryl on August 22, 2015 :: 1:00 pm

If you have to go through all that stress to prove something you already know in your gut, you should probably end it. I found this out the hard way.


Ohh my!!

From Penny on September 03, 2015 :: 11:17 am

Wow what an article! I had found incriminating evidence that my husband had been having a so called emotional affair (which he vehnemously denies that anything is/was going on) with a coworker; yet the emails and im’s said I love you. I miss you. Big hugs and kisses….seriously…nothing going on. We are just good friends.  And yes I admit….I got on his phone and found the emails and the texts, and confronted him about it. I also have home phone records of where he would call her cell when he was home and I was at work. He admittedly doesn’t love me any more. We tried counseling which was a big fat joke. He basically made it out that he wanted things back the way they were, the love and companionship we used to have. Which I think he was just talking out his rear. The counselor basically told me that I was a spoiled brat and I needed to learn to communicate more. She actually made his emotional affair seem like it was no big deal. We went three times and I was done. I have caught him in so many lies its pathetic.  He constantly threatens he is leaving, but he doesn’t. We constantly fight over money. He took over all the bills and took my name off checking account.  Then this spring he dropped $25,000 on a brand new Harley Davidson, and did not tell me. He hid it for 3 days at his sisters house. He had our daughter pick the color out, then told her not to tell me. Now I have had people yelling me they have seen him riding with someone else one the bike….while I am sitting at home being a Mommy, taking care of our farm, yard work, etc. I am a God fearing woman. I took my marriage vowels very seriously. I have stuck beside him through thick and thin. I am not the perfect wife either. I can admit that. But after me finding a little sticky note love letter from her and then those emails….I have no trust for him! I have tried to deal with all this for my kids. They are young, 7 and 9, and they need both parents. I think it is natural to be suspicious of your spouse or significant other; especially if there are tell tale signs that something is going on.  I will not get divorced from my husband. My vowels were said in front of God, family, and friends. If we divorce, he will be the one making that decision, not me. And I have to agree…..cheating has been going on for centuries…..but technology has made it so much more readily available.


He has to be on

From Tammy Wiley on January 13, 2016 :: 8:35 pm

He has to be on the samedge plan with me correct?


Totally not a waste of time

From Edward Presto on March 11, 2016 :: 8:42 pm

I don’t this is a waste of time spying or knowing the truth your spouse is cheating.  The very reason behind it is because you want to find the truth and once and for all save your marriage and maybe move forward in your life.

80% of the time is because a person wants to rebuild the relationship, the trust that was broken by the wayward spouse.

The only drawback for learning everything about your cheating spouse is the more your know more about the affair the more it will bring hurts to you.

Anyway I think that’s way good because it’s the only way to move forward in life.  “The Truth Hurts” but if your family is on the line why not fight for it?


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