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The Biggest Online Dating Red Flags

by on February 11, 2014
in Family and Parenting, Tips & How-Tos, Valentine's Day, Social Networking :: 115 comments

happy coupleMore than one third of marriages in the U.S. begin online, according to a 2013 study released by the National Academy of Sciences. And, interestingly, marriages that begin online are less likely to result in separation or divorce, and those that remained married are happier than their offline counterparts. 

But while online dating may be a great way to find your soul mate, you’ll be confronted with thousands of candidates. And, like many other online offerings, the "product" received may not always be what was advertised. So improve your chance of success by keeping an eye out for the following red flags as you sort through potential date’s profiles:

Photos: Photos can tell you a lot about a potential date. No photo, or a grainy, out-of-focus or outdated photo, are a sign that the person probably has something to hide, or else is not really serious about the dating process. But Vondie Lozano, licensed marriage and family therapist, has some other not-so-obvious flags to add to the list.

  • If they have a ton of photos, it could mean they’re a little self-absorbed.
  • Do they have a photo of themselves with another person cut out of it? That’s a huge red flag on so many levels.
  • Is there someone or something else in all of their photos? It’s good to have outside interests. But if their dog, friends, boat or even their kids are in ALL their photos, it may tell you a little about where you’ll stand in the scheme of things.

Self-description: If the user name or headline is weird, overtly sexual or otherwise inappropriate — Bangyourdaddy, 69Reasons — you can stop there, says Trish McDermott, a founding team member of Match.com. Also avoid people that disclose too much, whether it’s a recent staph infection, bankruptcy or bad breakup. And McDermott recommends steering clear of people who don’t have kids but use undue space in their profile soliciting information about the age and sex of your children.

Christan Marashio, founder of AndThatsWhyYoureSingle.com, adds that “it's normal for people to have some trouble crafting a profile and to use self-deprecating humor to lighten the mood. Too much humor is usually a sign that the person is insecure and uncomfortable with being vulnerable, which could lead to problems with emotional intimacy down the road. The humor is used to distract.”

Marital status: “separated”: This one isn’t necessarily a deal breaker. But Dan Neuharth, licensed marriage and family therapist, says “you need to find out just how separated he is. He may be legitimately finished with his marriage emotionally, but the paperwork isn't final. But many separated people are nowhere near done. They may be on a trial separation, seeking variety, or way too fresh from a bad relationship to date seriously.” And if the person is still talking about their ex, that’s a red flag.

What he/she’s looking for: Requiring too much or too little are both red flags. You’ll never live up to the laundry list. If the person really doesn’t care, they’re probably looking for a “date,” not a relationship, or he or she may be looking to scam you.

Neuharth also notes that while it’s common for men to want to date women younger than themselves, if there's too much of an age gap, it's a sign he’s probably not looking for an equal partner in the relationship.

Updated on 2/11/2014



Discussion loading

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On dating shorter guys and kids in pics

From soulamei on February 05, 2014 :: 11:26 am

I am a 5’9” woman myself and love wearing heels. I’ve had more than one man indicate that he simply does not like having a woman taller than him, and it makes him feel bad. I was quite happy to date them (they were only an inch or two shorter at most) but they ultimately dumped me and found shorter girls. It’s hard for us tall girls, too. :(

As for profile pictures, it actually creeps me out if someone is putting a picture of their CHILDREN on a dating site. I mean, sure if it’s a happy family pic at Disney that’s alright. But I’ve seen some guys add lone pics of their kids, dogs, or trucks as pictures. That is always a red flag to me. I’m not dating these things, I want to date YOU. Once we get closer, then I can meet your kids, your dog, or your truck. smile

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still drawing comments...

From Scott on February 05, 2014 :: 1:23 pm

Interesting, this thread is still drawing comments 1 1/2 years later.  So, it’s been 1 1/2 years since some people on here told me “oh, height does not matter; oh, it’s what’s inside, oh, it’ll happen when you least expect it, blah blah blah.”  Guess what?  NOTHING since I first commented about height in late summer of 2012.  Nothing.  No dates, no relationships; I haven’t been asked out.  I haven’t been given any signal by any woman that it’s OK to approach, start up conversation, or ask for a date. Nothing.  Nothing at all.  That’s the dating world today.  A big nothing.  I have forfeited; I stand defeated and broken by a game I can’t win.  I hope everyone else has had better luck than I.  There’s nothing more I can do.  It all comes down to height, looks, power, notoriety, stuff like that.  Women don’t give a damn what’s “inside a man’s character,” because there’s no way for them to know that about guys they refuse to speak to, and refuse to give permission to be approached.  So, that’s where it’s been left.  Very unfortunate; I had hoped I could have made someone happy.  But that’s not going to happen.

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height as an issue

From Danielle on February 12, 2014 :: 12:36 pm

I have been learning a great deal about myself over the past few years. One thing that stands out universally in attracting a partner or even just an enjoyable date night is that we radiate what we think about ourselves in the way we interact. Some of your rejection experiences might be coming from your own view of yourself in comparison to other men. The men who’ve placed comments with views about their own height not being an issue at all in their successful dating ventures also come across as much more confident. You might want to consider the possibility that you need to a adjust your perspective and value of yourself first before attempting to attract someone because dating is precisely that: the phenomenon of attracting someone. Women will certainly find whatever you first find standout and engaging and powerful about yourself just as exciting to explore; but it could be that you need to take the time first to discover your own value and stature.

Best wishes in your journey!

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Quit Whining

From Diane on April 23, 2014 :: 5:36 am

I don’t know for sure Scott, but I would venture to guess that stature is not your problem.  Self esteem seems more likely.  Quit complaining.  I’m 5’4” and my first boyfriend was 5’1”  and my second husband was 5’2”.  They were very confident in their desirability.  Beside the reverse of the old joke works.. Perfect man 3’tall with a wicked tongue and a flat head to rest my wine on….LOL

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It's also blindingly obvious that

From JP on August 08, 2016 :: 11:59 am

It’s also blindingly obvious that what you did is nothing.  It sounds like you just walk out the door and expect women to come to you.  You’re not so special that women are just going to hand themselves over to you without you lifting a finger dear, and your bitter, resentful attitude is a massive turn-off.  Address your character failings instead of trying to shift the blame to women.  Until you do, you’re deluded to believe you could ever make someone happy.  Sorry to be harsh, but coddling and reassuring never works with people like you.

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Re: Scott and height

From SingleLady on September 29, 2016 :: 12:17 pm

Famous short men who had no problem attracting women:   

James Madison
Prince
Andrew Carnegie
Robin Williams
Paul Simon
Bono
Tom Cruise
Pablo Picasso
Napoleon

Ok…still complaining? lol FTR my ex husband was around 5’3” served 20 years in the USMC and he never had problem with getting women (part of the reason we divorced, he cheated frequently!)

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Wrong!

From Corey N on April 28, 2017 :: 6:26 am

Those men are famous. Michael J. Fox himself admitted that women would not overlook his height until he become famous!

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Scott, what State do you

From Lexi Lovette on March 28, 2018 :: 12:00 am

Scott, what State do you live in?

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Giving out good vibes

From Annie on September 12, 2018 :: 6:34 pm

Just live your life with joy and joy will find you!

You have to be happy first with yourself and your life!

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"Right On", MIKW

From Shkveezer on February 12, 2014 :: 11:22 am

I TOTALLY agree with you.

First off: Many pics are “proof in advertising” and you only look as good TODAY as your worst pic, which often is the most recent one. Pics need to be dated, too.

YEAH: and I SURELY DON’T want to see kids or, be subordinated by them, dogs (OY….the dogs….that’s they’re TRUE love and those prominently display them are ALREADY INVOLVED in a “relationship”)....particularly, those little cockroach/centipede dogs….

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE dogs and cats (especially, cats) but, IF you’re on a date site, LOSE the trees, the sunsets, canines, kiddies, mom and pop. It’s NOT a kennel, day care center or, National Geographic, for Chrissssakes!

I’ve read THOUSANDS of profiles and humor (which I’M a big fan of, anywhere) can distinguish, as SO MANY people post some of the blandest, generic garbage. Many, demand a “sense of humor” but, you can soon discover that many surely don’t have one, at all…

While some profiles are quite “telling” (too telling in some cases)...“different strokes for…..”....some you can generalize and some you can’t….

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short guys

From dale on February 12, 2014 :: 11:27 am

I am 5’4”.
I was surprised by the number of shorter women who only wanted taller guys.

It seemed like the requirement was 8-10 inches taller.

It surprised me to find someone my age, 5’2” looking for 5’10”.

I emailed a couple offering the fact that meeting me and standing around talking to me would be much better on their neck!

But I found my match, and we are fine.
Just takes patience.
Dab

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Height is not the problem

From Diana Hammond on February 12, 2014 :: 1:13 pm

Scott, you come across as insecure, needy & whiny.  You are so focused on what you perceive to be a failing that you shoot yourself in the foot before you even get going. Women tend to look for guys who are truthful, with a sense of humor about themselves, act like a gentleman & are upbeat about life in general. Since you seem so focused on the physical about yourself I’m guessing you are the same way about the women you’re looking at as well.  I’m guessing this comes across in your profile is obvious or subtle ways that women pick up on, even subconciously.
It’s not your height, or bank account, or car that do anything past the first glance….it’s how YOU USE THEM!

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No, height is the problem...

From corey n on February 26, 2016 :: 9:35 pm

...seems as if you cannot connect dots! It is his height. If not, why won’t women who are 5’10 date him?

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Because he's whiny and petulant

From JP on August 08, 2016 :: 11:55 am

Because he’s whiny and petulant and women can sense his seething resentment from a mile away? Seriously, this guy has the sort of personality that would suck the life out of a partner, but you whiners want to find a way to make it all about how women are to blame instead, rather than addressing your own character failings.  And yes, I include you in that because you’re clearly identifying a little too closely with this guy.  And that toxic attitude is why you’re single.

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Just a few quotes from other sites.

From Frank Johnson on April 19, 2017 :: 9:47 pm

‘I am 5ft 6in and wouldn’t ever consider dating a man shorter than me. Ever. I would only really contemplate a man over 6ft. I know that rules out half the male population, but it’s really important to me to feel enveloped and protected by a man. The feeling of having a tall man wrap his arms around me makes me feel safe - it reminds me of feeling protected by my father. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, I don’t know, but given I’ve been single for three years, I’m guessing it’s a bad thing!’ Harriet, 35

I have 2 friends who are ridiculously hung-up on height. One is 5’9″ and the other is 5’7″ and they are forever saying “he’s cute, but he’s too short” and I feel offended for the guy. They are disqualifying him strictly based on looks. (I’m always willing to give him a chance though. so it’s good for me!) I want to look at them sometimes and say “how would you feel if a man disqualified you because you’ve got a fat ass? Wouldn’t make you feel good, now would it?”

A friend and I went to a trendy spot he had been telling me about, hoping that it would live up to the hype. (it didn’t) I secured a table as he went to fetch a couple of menus. When he reached the bar, a moderately attractive woman stood right in front of the stack, so he lightly tapped her on the shoulder and politely asked to cut in. Before he could finish, the arrogant twit instinctively spat some “ugh, you’re too short for me” nonsense, then stormed away when he informed her that he was after drink menus, not an NBA tryout. For the record, this ‘short’ man is about 5’10 in shoes,[1] and they were about the same height. (mind, she was wearing heeled shoes)

I know a woman that refused to date a man under 6’3”. She had hopes and dreams of marriage and family. Between the ages of 27 and 41, she remained alone, searching for her unicorn in a haystack. She finally accepted a date with a man that was her height, 5’9”, because her best friend threatened bodily harm if she didn’t give the guy a chance. He turned out to be a gem. They have been dating for a year now and are very happy. Although it looks like she did miss the train to have a family, wasting thirteen years because she wouldn’t bend her “rule.”

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To frank

From Marie on April 20, 2017 :: 12:47 am

I’m referring to your post regarding height.  Some women like myself are not hung up on height, but base most everything on compatibilty, but you do still need to be attracted on some level.

I am on the taller side and was never really hung up on height as long as the guy was not considered a little person.  I learned to get past that in one of my best relationships with someone that was at least two inches shorter than me.

He had a healthy sense of self esteem and he was pretty stocky.  I’m 5’9 and he was 5’7, but height was never an issue.  His personality and wit made us connect.

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If you say you are

From Frank Johnson on April 20, 2017 :: 7:33 am

If you say you are not concerned about height, then you are the exception to the norm, but again you needed to learn to get past that.  It didn’t come naturally, and you didn’t’ mention of how you behaved before that point.  But good for you, for you are using character as a measure of a man rather than his inseam.  I think that is a better predictor of success in a relationship rather than height.  Too bad you can’t convince the majority of females to use that parameter.  Many come to the point where you are after many failed relationships.

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To Frank

From Marie on April 20, 2017 :: 9:53 am

I was young under the age of 17, so I would say growing into understanding that height should not be a determining factor when choosing someone that is most compatible for me.

I preface to guys if I’m online that if they are hung up on height that is their issue not mine, because I will not shrink myself or my personality for no one.

I think in reverse that some men are hung up on height, such tall men only wanting to date short women - like a man 6’+ only wanting to date women 5’5 and under.

I go by compatibility based on lifestyle, relationship and family values, communication, etc..  Yes, a jerk is a jerk no matter the size or height.

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Wah, wah, wah

From Julie Isham 536 on February 19, 2014 :: 8:30 pm

Hey, let’s just change the men’s height to a woman’s weight. Guess what - I’m a big ugly woman, who just left a marriage when, after 23 years, I found out my “soul mate” was gay. (hmm… guess “bitter” fits in there too)
Yep, I’m sorry men, if you don’t like the fat. And the face is pretty bad too - oh boo hoo. I would never date you Scot, because you have nothing to offer me but a whiney “I’m just too short”. Well, I’m not going to whine back. I’m big, I’m ugly - but I love myself… which is something I’m sure you can’t say! And no, don’t get me wrong - I am not whining - I am the way God made me, and at one time I thought I had a soul mate - surprise!
Oh, and I don’t care if you’re 3ft - or even 7ft - Unlike most, I can look past the outside and can appreciate the inside. (Which means your grey matter better be what matters!!) Most can’t look past my outside and see the inside - but guess what? I don’t want you then! YOU are the one missing out - and Scott - you need to learn that attitude instead of whining about how terrible it is to be short! Well, it’s terrible to be fat - or too tall - or scarred - or ... It is actually only terrible if YOU let it be.
Sorry you can’t find someone - but I wouldn’t look at you twice because of your attitude - not your height! Of course as you seem pretty picky about a woman having to be beautiful - you wouldn’t look at me twice - but the difference is I DON’T CARE.
Give up - online dating seems to not be you’re answer!!! I never asked it the question!!!!
Jewely

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Denial everywhere we look...

From Scott on February 19, 2014 :: 10:03 pm

Julie, you do give an entertaining speech.  But your perceptions of attraction dynamics bear little resemblance to reality.  Say what you will about my attitude (what you know of my attitude having never met me?  Snap judge much?), but at least I am willing to accept the realities of sexual attraction the way they ARE instead of they way I wish they were.  In a man, height has EVERYTHING to do with attraction.  So does the appearance of dominance he gives off.  So do many other things which are detectable without even talking to the guy.  That’s the key.  As I said, at least I know when the competition has me beat, and when to forfeit a game I cannot win.  Attitude is not relevant in the early stages of attraction.  But then, somehow I suspect you know this already.

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Snap?!!!

From Julie on February 20, 2014 :: 1:48 pm

Snap judge? Are you an idiot (note this is a question, but not a judgement!)??? Did you even READ what you said? If you’re attitude is different, you might want to watch what you say!

Hey, it’s YOU who thinks that height has to do with attraction - I definitely don’t. I like a man with strong facial features - and I don’t care one whit about how far down I have to look… that’s my ATTRACTION - so don’t think every single woman out there gives a hoot you’re not tall… it’s your attitude I’m sure that’s turning them away!!!
(Oh, poor me, I’m short so no one on earth will find me attractive… GET OVER YOURSELF!) I don’t have a clue of your looks - you’ve given me a lot about your height - but it’s the attitude of “poor me, I can’t get into a relationship because I’m short” that turns ME (and I’m sure a lot of other women out there) OFF - attitude IS a big then even at the beginning of a relationship. Why would I waste time on someone who bemoans his height over and over and over (and over…) again? Not worth my time. Give me a dwarf with a good attitude, and I’m turned on! ATTITUDE IS RELEVANT. You just don’t see it, as you have your mind set that it’s your height!
At least I’m at peace with my status… you aren’t and I’m sorry. But, don’t call me for any dates!!!

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Won't be calling Julie for ANYTHING

From Scott Gurstein on April 28, 2014 :: 10:51 am

Julie, you can be assured I won’t be calling you for any dates…that much is certain.  You have the NERVE to call *my* attitude into question?  Seems to me it is YOU who has launched the vicious attacks, and accusations of “whiney-ness.”  I have news for you, Julie.  I have not whined ONCE in a single comment I have made here.  If you have interpreted my remarks as whining, that is your problem.  I’m trying to conduct an informative, HONEST dialogue about the REAL characteristics and variables which affect the attraction process in both men and women; a process over which you have ZERO control, by the way.  I see what I see, I read what I read, and I can HONESTLY report that in men, height IS a measurable factor when it comes to attracting sexual attention initially.  I don’t deny that attitude plays a part in the process, but you and I BOTH know that comes at the later stages, once a potential date engages in conversation.  That is when attitudes become visible, NOT before.  So again, how about a little blunt honesty here?  For men, who are visual creatures, appearance AND weight DO matter!  Sorry, but that’s just how it is.  For women, height is a KEY physical trait that matters, and for good anthropological reasons.  Are there exceptions out there from time to time?  Of course!  But on the whole and on the average, these traits matter in terms of what IGNITES attraction in the opposite sex.  You can re-write those rules to make them more PC.  Ain’t gonna happen.  And once again, I 100% REJECT your assertions that I am “whining” while trying to explain my OBSERVATIONS.  I didn’t make this stuff up.  I reject them, and OBJECT to them.  I will accept your apology for such accusations, however.

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height...

From SE on April 28, 2014 :: 12:01 pm

Just because your experience has shown that women prefer taller guys doesn’t mean that’s a fact. It also doesn’t mean that you should give up or lower your standards. Do you really want to be with someone who would judge you based on appearance? Sure, there has to be physical attraction or the relationship won’t last. But no one should have to be a perfect 10. I don’t know anything about you other than height, but I can say I wouldn’t refuse to date you solely based on that. If you’re a nice guy and I find you attractive otherwise, height is irrelevant. We aren’t that rare. You just have to know where to find us smile

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Fair enough...

From Scott Gurstein on April 28, 2014 :: 3:32 pm

Logically, that’s true…I can’t argue that firsthand empirical evidence counts as universal proof.  But I have no other evidence to go on about the height issue as relates to attraction, unless I take someone’s word for it.  You’re also right the silly measurement scale people use.  I’ve never sought, or limited myself to only “fashion models.” It’s never been like that.  I have lost count of the number of women who in so many ways would have been great matches for me, and would have enjoyed being with me.  But they’ve always taken a pass in favor of some other guy, and yes, he’s always been the taller one.  So now I’ve also lost hope.

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I agree--- but is rare to find a profile without one of those.

From Timothy Horrigan on September 02, 2014 :: 9:00 pm

“Do they have a photo of themselves with another person cut out of it? That’s a huge red flag on so many levels.”

I agree—- but is rare to find a woman’s profile without one of those.

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I with you man.

From David Bags Dowsett on September 15, 2014 :: 4:57 pm

Ditto,I’m 42 which is baf enough but at 5’6 I might as well be invisible.
I have two very nice lady friends who I have known a long time and who have been in the same relationship since school and they really don’t believe me, they really think I’m lively and would have no trouble getting a date.
I showed them my response rate my profile, my pictures, and they really can’t believe the shit us smaller blokes have to deal with (or not as the cade is)

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Scott, I feel for ya

From David Bags Dowsett on September 15, 2014 :: 5:34 pm

Yer I’m 5’6 42 year old male, I’ve been on 1 date in 15 years. Most women on match.com will only go out with men who are 10’ higher, so no chance.
Also this comparison with “smaller men = fat women” is not valid, last I checked height is no changeable, overweight is down to overeating and lazyness.
Before I’m shouted at, yes I was overweight 5 years ago at 15 stones, for the last 4 years I’ve been 10 stones, so this comparison is rubbish. In my experience women filter both categories, so yer I’ve given up, but when I’m out socialing and here fat women bang on about why men don’t like me for who I am, I just tut loudly in my head then zone out…

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Short men

From Harvey on October 28, 2014 :: 4:11 pm

Scott, I am only 5’7” myself although I usually fudge and write 5’8”. Nobody ever challenged me on it. I have never had problems finding women. Some have been 5’6” and taller than me with 5 inch heals. If you are close in height there is a real easy solution. Elevated shoes can add anywhere from 2.5 to 3.5 inches onto your height and take care of the problem. I am also an actor and my resume says 5’8” to 5’10”...depending on the shoes.

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Wow, this is an old

From Guy on February 09, 2015 :: 2:23 am

Wow, this is an old thread but I had to respond.  OK, so couple things.  I’m 34, 5’8, Asian, and a single father.  I mean with the height, race, and parentage, everything should be stacked against me right?  All I can say is I decided to date again after a 3 year hiatus and joined Eharmony.  So far, in 2 months, I’ve had 5 women message me unsolicited (Only one of those women I found attractive) and dated two women so far, and have two other women I’ve been talking to on the phone.  Two Asian women that I’ve dated, one ethnic mixed Spanish woman in her mid 20’s and a beautiful Caucasian woman in her early thirties that I am talking to.  Statistically, I shouldn’t have any women contacting me but guess what, they are, even with my height and race in the mix.  Scott, I don’t know you or if you’re even going to be reading this but trust me, even if you’re not some tall Adonis, it can be done.

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People who go on and

From Larissa on June 08, 2015 :: 12:04 am

People who go on and on about their kids concern me. These aren’t adoption websites people are looking for partners. If you are 100% focused on your kids and can’t pay attention to significant other why be on a dating site? This is probably why marriage failed. Relationships take work. If you can’t multitask then focus on your kids until they turn 18!! Then date.

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dating people with kids/short men

From Annie mendez on October 24, 2015 :: 10:19 am

To the angry woman with kids. Dating a person with children…sorry but from experience I have come last. To be expected. Just admit it and date someone else with children.if I had kids, they would come first. If I met someone whose kids didn’t come first. I would be disgusted in them. I respect people with kids but chose not to date them because this is my conclusion from my experiences. It’s really not something to defend, there are plenty of single parents to date.      As a woman, I am short, 5’4, my height is and has never been an issue getting a date. I only post pictures of my face and I get tons of interests. I never discriminate over a man’s height. Attitude goes a very long way in a person. The only problem I have with online dating which everyone needs to be careful of is stalkers. Run background checks, get the first and last name of the person your meeting. Tell people where you are going. Give a friend their information. I chatted with a man online recently who I then declined a date with. He has accessed all my email accounts and taken over my dating site account. Be careful!

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These sites are funny.

From Darwin on March 27, 2016 :: 10:55 pm

These sites are funny.
There all over the Internet.  The comments are all the same.
Trying to figure out who is the problem. 

The natural fact is men are drawn to healthy looking women. This means the attractive women with the attractive shape . For the natural purpose of sex.    Good looking women have better genes per nature. At least from mens eyes.

Nothing changes human nature.


The natural fact for women is they want a alfa male . Tuff and good looking better genes for there baby. Alfa men have better genes per nature.  At least from womens eyes.

After nature drives us to what it needs to survive then the rest is want your personal choices are in finding a personal relationship. 

As society has gotten more complex between men and women the personal choices gets larger and makes having a relationship more difficult to achieve.

So the replies from people at these types of sites are OK.  These are just there personal choices they feel and believe are right for them driven by the social changes of the times.

Thats all this is about.

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Re: Darwin's Post

From SingleLady on September 29, 2016 :: 12:08 pm

Yes, most of the people on the online dating sites are 5’s looking for 10s. These are the losers who can’t find a date in real life, so they have to resort to the online dating. Someone out there is making a lot of money off the lonely and desperate but still picky. Those people are crying…all the way to the bank! The dating/industrial complex sucks and all of us should stop participating in it. Log off and instead look out in the real world at real people.

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Dating Red Flags - women and Height

From Frank Johnson on April 08, 2016 :: 6:51 pm

This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH.  And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male. One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to.  I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches.  She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men.  On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all.  Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection.  Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry.  I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality.  No.  The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height.  Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me.
I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”.  (I am 5’8”)  And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog.  No doubt all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking.  These women were past their prime and worried.  I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years.  It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did.  When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife.  I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age.  Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them.  I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier would not have given me the time of day.  And even now, they may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them.  I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women.  Why go old, when I could go young?  I was amazed how the dating game changed in my favor.  And I used it to my advantage, just as women had done years earlier.
I am now married and have 4 sons.  I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents.  I could have provided a good life to any girl.  I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance.  I was turned down consistently and without a second thought.  (Maybe due to the Alfa male fascination)  So, if you find yourself in your late 20’s or early 30’s with no prospect of a husband or children in the immediate future, you have no one to blame but yourself.  There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity.  (This also applies to average height women, too)  And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man (and Beta males) until it is too late.  You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males (and Beta males) in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate.  There are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones.  So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them.  I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship.  Throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a tall girl.

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Height Rejection

From Frank Johnson on June 20, 2016 :: 11:33 am

This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the women who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH.  And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.
One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to.  I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches.  She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men.  On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all.  Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection.  Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry.  I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality.  No.  The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height.  Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me. (I did date one girl for 3 years when I was in college, who was 5’8”.)
I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”.  (I am 5’8”)  And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog.  No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking.  These women were past their prime and worried.  I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years.  It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did.  When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife.  I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age.  Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them.  I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day.  And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them.  I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women.  Why go old, when I could go young?
I am now married and have 4 sons.  I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents.  I could have provided a good life to any girl.  I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance.  I was turned down consistently and without a second thought.  SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.  There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity.  (This also applies to average height women, too)  And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late.  You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate, for there are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones.  So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them.  I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship.

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I laughed when you said

From Luke Yancey on July 07, 2016 :: 8:57 am

I laughed when you said to avoid profiles that disclose too much. In my opinion, some of those profiles are better than people saying the same thing everyone else is. However, I do agree there is such a thing as taking it too far. It is a tricky game, but I think the best profiles are the ones that disclose enough to make them stand out, but at the same time do not leave you with a bad impression.
https://getmemoredates.com/how-it-works.html

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I don't think the folks

From tuba on July 15, 2016 :: 11:31 am

I don’t think the folks writing about such sites in the trenches using them. What I have learned in my three completely unsuccessful months on Match.com is that I am not 6 feet tall, I am not a millionaire, I am not allowed to like a woman my age or younger, and 238 pounds is now considered “slim.” A 238 pounder, however, can go on a diet. I ain’t ever going to grow two-inches taller. Women’s profiles read like bad romance novels and are completely out of touch with real relationships. They are in some emotional Disneyworld fantasy land. I can totally understand not liking what you see. Got it. Then, damn it, delete the email. It would also be nice if you log on more than once every three months even to tell me no. I certainly won’t renew. I’m tired of the abuse.

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Re: I don't think the folks...

From SingleLady on September 29, 2016 :: 12:05 pm

Match dot com is a complete cesspool! Most of the men and women on there are 5’s who are looking for 10s. They can’t get real boyfriends or girlfriends. Hence, the reason they’re online lol As for your criticisms regarding the women: I find it interesting the shorter guys love the criticize the women who they consider fat. Sure, we could diet, but why should we? To please YOU? Then what would you find the criticize? Men like you always find something complain about! Some men’s profiles are ridiculous, too. Some of them men who are over 50 and never married are so entitled and so unrealistic as to think they have an automatic “right” to have a spouse who is a ‘trophy wife’ some blonde who is in her 20s or early 30s and as skinny as a rail…and wants to have kids with a man who is pushing 60s so that when the man DIES, the woman gets stuck raising the kids all by herself???  Well, News Flash to the Purple Unicorn seekers:  those women don’t aging, balding YOU unless you have a LOT of money!  So get a real job and move out of your mother’s basement and you might actually have a chance lmbo

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single lady

From Frank Johnson on April 19, 2017 :: 10:02 pm

Show me the articles where short men mock fat women.  I would like to see them.  These articles exist in your mind.  You manufactured this to support your bias.  I wish I could go on a height diet.  Show me this plan, for I would like to be taller than 5’8”

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Height Rejection

From Frank Johnson on July 15, 2016 :: 2:06 pm

This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the women who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH.  And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.

One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to.  I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches.  She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men.  On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all.  Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.

This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection.  Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry.  I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality.  No.  The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height

I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”.  (I am 5’8”)  And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence.  No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s,.  I didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking.  These women were past their prime and worried.  I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years.  It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did.  When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife.  I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age.  Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them.  I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day.  And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them.  I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women.  Why go old, when I could go young?

I am now married and have 4 sons. I could have provided a good life to any girl.  I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance.  I was turned down consistently and without a second thought.  SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.  There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity.  (This also applies to average height women, too)  And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late.  You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate, for there are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones.  So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them.  I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship.  Thus, throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a leggy lady.

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Wow..surprised you found a spouse at all!

From SingleLady on September 29, 2016 :: 11:54 am

With that arrogant attitude? You say “I am now married and have 4 sons. I could have provided a good life to any girl.  I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance.  I was turned down consistently and without a second thought.  SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.”    Well, I’m in my 50s and my kids are grown and haven’t remarried. Why not? Too many jerks and bozos like you out there and I’m too smart to get chained up to idiots like you. I feel sorry for your wife (so what country did you order her from? Russia? The Phillippines? Colombia? LOL).  Height isn’t an issue. ATTITUDE is. You complain about women turning down short men, but what of men who consistently turn down women whom they consider “too fat” or “too old.” all because they have some purple unicorn fantasy straight out of a porn movie? If they’re single, they they have no one to blame but themselves LOLOL see? Two can play that game!

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to singlelady

From Frank Johnson on April 18, 2017 :: 5:18 pm

Singlelady   You are a perfect example of someone with anger issues.  I bet you were used and abused by your man, who you married because he was taller than you.  By the way, this bozo has 3 degrees, co-authored 2 US patents and has worked in 20 countries.  You wish you were married to me.  But I will address your main point, if only I had the right attitude, taller women would have wanted me.  Oh that’s a good one.  Have you read any of the posts here?  Maybe you need to see the height requirements on Match.com or any other dating sites.  But the good news for men is that time is on their side

smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html

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Statistics from a newspaper article? LOL

From Teri White on April 19, 2017 :: 9:27 am

Time is on the side of men? You might be right. As time goes on your paypacket will be more of a drawcard than you are…..

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teri white

From Frank Johnson on April 19, 2017 :: 9:56 pm

As time goes on your paypacket will be more of a drawcard than you are…..

right back at ya.

Only, I will have dinner in the Singapore, and you can only dream of it.  Oh, by the way, I have had 3 women propose to me.  One a doctor, my first wife was an Architect.

Except that....

From Teri White on April 19, 2017 :: 10:14 pm

My boyfriend is 25 years younger than me. Remember, get all the facts before assuming anything.

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Interesting article: However I think

From SingleLady on September 29, 2016 :: 11:48 am

Interesting article: However I think listing your status as “separated” should be a dealbreaker. Even if one is separated, they are still MARRIED! Until the divorce is finalized, they shouldn’t be dating. Period. If a person is looking for a spouse, then why would you want to waste your time with someone else’s spouse? I don’t believe in adultery! It’s a sin.  As for pictures, it seems to me it’s the MEN over 50 who aren’t putting up their profile pictures yet they expect all the women to have pictures! However, the guy’s pictures regardless of age, I’ve seen some real doozies. Unless you’re Ted Nugent (and even if you are Ted Nugent) PLEASE do not post a safari or hunting picture with a dead animal where you can practically see the smoke coming out of the rifle. Nothing turns a person off faster than someone alluding to killing! Makes me wonder if I’m next! Also, men, when taking pictures:  Lose the sunglasses and hats. None of those cheesy shirtless in the bathroom selfie pics. Those are just as bad as the female “duckface” pictures. It should go without saying no d**k pics! Faces only!  No ‘long distance’ shots where you show up looking like an ant! No ‘nature shots.’ We want to see YOU, not the beach or a campground! Plain backgrounds are best.  No profile shots. It’s not a prison mugshot and if you are in prison, what are you doing on a dating website anyway? LOL Make sure you are the ONLY person in the picture (no kids, no animals dead or alive and NO other women, I don’t care if it is your mother…if it is, then definitely you’re not ready for adult dating lmbo). Make sure the lighting is good and that you’re looking directly at the camera! Lose the hat and sunglasses, please. Smiling is optional. Just don’t look like you’re perennially pissed off. If you have to err, err on the side of smiling. That is all.

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Refusing video chats

From Richard S. on December 17, 2016 :: 3:09 pm

If your prospective partner lives outside your country and refuses video chat via Skype, FaceTime or some other video service, she’s probably a scammer.

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the Truth ..

From XLNTMOMMY on February 11, 2017 :: 1:15 pm

C’mon .. the Truth is that we all want that elusive ‘chemistry’ thing .. yet haven’t we All experienced that moment where we meet someone who while physically exactly what we desire, they characterstically display traits that turn us off completely .. this makes them not so attractive anymore .. lesson learned. But we keep trying to find that ‘perfect’ package .. if not at least 90% .
What makes someone attractive, after the first 15 minutes, is HOW they are .. confidence is a biggie, for many . I had bfs 6’6” (pro ball player) and yet married a man 1 inch taller than me (Im 5’9”). I will never forget this one guy who I met randomly, in person .. he was easily 2-3” shorter than me, but confident as anything and smart, gentlemanly .. his buddy asked me what I thought nd I was dating someone so said I was in a relationship, but I never forgot the impact that had on me ..
As far as ‘kids first’ ..? What parent doesn’t put their kids first, but putting them first means teaching by your example what a love relationship is .. and being a united front, together, in that dept.
With that said, I will tell you when I date, I am very private nd dont introduce my daughter, sometimes well over 6 months. Think about it, 6 months is not that long, and why would I subject her to a bunch of different men ..? If he’s the right one, he will be first in my primary relationship, never made to feel second, period. However, we would both hav that common value system where his, my children/family are of paramount importance over just about everything else in our lives. But its not a race.
This is how I see it and what works for me .
Best of luck .. and I hope your broken road is healed soon ..
~mommy

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SMS

From Above Average in Every Way on March 10, 2017 :: 5:27 am

I didn’t know that small man syndrome was a “thing” until I was dating a body builder an inch shorter than me. He kept making references to our difference in height and annoying me by grousing about something he couldn’t change.

Thanks to his attitude and those other bitter ones I read about, I’m now wary of online dating a guy shorter or close to being shorter than me.
First, because he probably lied about his height, and second because of a lack of confident, self-accepting attitude.

With my curvy size and above average height, sometimes I feel like like a lumbering, slovenly beast while petite and compact ladies seem better put together and less sweaty.

But I don’t carry around with me the mark of shame that I’m not the masculine ideal of a tidy, big-busted Asian woman half my age with a man’s body fat.  I put myself out there honestly, trusting that my actual height and shape will be someone’s type.

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Don't let anyone dull your shine...

From Marie on April 15, 2017 :: 7:49 am

That idiot sounded insecure with himself. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior… for your height, stature or the way you vibrate. Fu&k em. From one tall beauty to another - don’t let anyone ever make you feel less than.

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